It's The Journey That Matters

The other day I saw a bride hug her daddy for the last time as she prepared to leave for her honeymoon. What a sweet moment that was! My daughter, Moni, looked at me and said, "Mom, are you crying?" As a matter of fact I was crying. You see I can remember the last hug I ever gave my daddy before he passed away. I recall that moment like it was yesterday. He walked into my room and out of no where just hugged me and didn't let go. He held me in his arms and told me how much he loved me. I remember thinking, "Wow this is nice, but I wonder what this is all about." You see, it wasn't like my dad to do that with me. I can remember that hug as if it just happened five minutes ago. I was standing in the doorway of my room, facing the hallway, when he came in.

About a year later, my dad and I parted ways. It was not a good parting. I was a bitter, immature teen and closed the door of my heart on my dad. The last time I saw him was from a distance as I drove away after refusing to speak to him. A few months later he passed away. I cannot explain to you how much of a burden that was on me for many years later. God dealt mightily with my heart and it took much prayer to come to the place where I could forgive him for his mistakes and confess my own.

Here we are sixteen years later and each time I see a tender moment between a daughter and her daddy, I cry. Father's day is always painful for me. I arrive at church with a smile on my face, wishing all the other dads a happy Father's Day, yet I bite my tongue and hold back the tears. By the time our Pastor stands to give his Father's Day greetings to the congregation I have to excuse myself and take a walk outside. For many years I spend that hour in my car waiting for my family to get out of church.

In my arrogance and immaturity I failed to enjoy the journey. The journey that I took with my dad in the years we did have together. I have a half sister from his second marriage, named Heidi. I didn't get to grow up with my sister, as a matter of fact I barely know her. I had a few days where I got to finally reunite with her before our daddy passed away. I lost touch with her after my departure from town, but she called me a few years after he left this world. You see, she didn't get to know him very well while she was growing up. Heidi wanted to know if everything her mother told her about our daddy was true or not.

I responded with this, "Heidi, our daddy wasn't perfect by any means. He made mistakes just like we do. I can tell you about his mistakes or I can tell you about the wonderful memories I had with him and about the good things." I was so happy to hear her tell me that she chose to know the good things. I was able to share with her all the good times I had with him and about all his interests and hobbies. I bragged about what a good husband he was to our stepmother, Alisha.

My children have never met their Grandpa Philip. Yet, I do all I can to use my mistake as an example to them when it comes to their relationship with their own daddy, my husband. Each day you have an opportunity to spend time with your dad should be seen as a journey. Here is a short list of Do's and Don'ts to consider in honor of Father's Day.

Do tell your daddy that he's your favorite guy in the whole world.
Do tell your daddy how much you love him.
Do kiss him good night every night!
Call him at work and tell him that he's your hero.
Speak kindly and reverently to him.
Greet him at the door when he gets home and offer to carry something for him.
Serve him first at meal time.
Speak softy when he gets upset with you and apologize right away. Even if you think he's wrong.

Don't go to sleep angry with him.
Don't raise your voice at him.
Don't talk back. (Titus 2:9, " Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again" KJV)
Don't talk negative about him to others.
Don't walk away when he's talking to you.
Don't refuse to speak to him. (Giving him the silent treatment is not good for your relationship.)

Some girls hope for the day their dad buys them a red Ford Mustang, takes them to Hawaii, or buys them their first cell phone, but don't make that your focus in your relationship with your daddy. It's not what he gives you that makes the relationship good, it's the journey that matters. Cherish every hug you get!





Topics of Interest: children, fathers, relationships, hugs, dads, parenting, daughters, love, father's day, forgiveness,